How to Navigate Building Confidence | Ruby Roxx Guest Blogger
My name is Ruby Roxx. I am a plus size model, body positive activist, writer and blogger. I often am asked, “How are you so confident?” and the answer is…years of hard work. Body confidence is not something that comes over night. It takes a lot of hard work, and It means something different to everyone.
For me, Body Positivity, comes from the desire to not let my physical appearance rule my mental health. I suffer from depression and severe anxiety. It’s a struggle every single day. Finding confidence in myself has helped my mental health tremendously, but to say I am 100% confident in myself everyday would be a lie. I am human. I have bad days. But instead of dwelling, I now turn it around and focus on the positives in my life, and pull myself out of the tunnel of self hatred and ridicule.
A big part of my job is putting myself out there on social media and the internet, and in turn, I am putting myself at risk for cyber bullies to attack me, my body, appearance, and much more. I needed to learn to harness the power of self love, in order to be able to fight back against those bullies and their words, and come out the other end, knowing more about myself, as well as being much more confident in myself, and what I was putting out into the world.
Body positivity is a fabulous thing but, like a lot of things, it can be very hard to navigate! The second we show a little appreciation for ourselves (especially on social media) we are called narcissistic, or full of ourselves. We are told to cover up if we are wearing too little, or to loosen up if we are dressed modestly. We are told to stand up for ourselves, and to form our own opinions, but when we do we are labelled as a “Bitch”. We are constantly being picked apart, and most of our worth seems to be placed on what we look like on the outside. We need to switch this thinking. If you think about it…no matter what you do, it seems you will be judged by someone. So as far as I see it, you might as well do what makes YOU happy, as that’s who you should be striving to make happy every day!
So you’re probably asking yourself, how do I become more confident in the body that I’m in? Well…the answer is ACTION. Confidence is the result of action. When I’m feeling down on myself, I try to list 5 NON physical things that I love about myself. Then I list 5 things I love about my body…but not about how it looks…but things it can do for me. For me, I love my brain, I love my eyes, and I love my laugh…I am also so thankful to have strong hands, and legs that help me through the day. I’m thankful that my body keeps me healthy and able to do what I love for a living!
Making the decision to love yourself and the body you are in, is a decision that you have to make every single day of your life. It’s a decision to love your body as much as it loves you. It’s a decision to shift your thinking, to look in the mirror and focus on what you love, instead of things you hate. Focus on your accomplishments, and appreciate your body for all it can do for you, not just for how it looks. It’s a life long journey, but the relationship you have with yourself, really is the most important relationship you will ever have. Nourish it. Foster it. Take care of it. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. But never forget how bad ass you are and celebrate that every damn day!