How to Feel Confident Without Going on a Diet - by Chelsey Luren

 
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Confidence, self love, and body positivity are incredible tools.

Telling women they are good enough, worthy of what they desire, and that they are allowed to love themselves as they are is 100% fact. I am a huge advocate of this, and stand firmly behind this message.

The entire movement of body positivity is one that was invaluable to me when I was first beginning my recovery from anorexia over 8 years ago.

But here’s the thing that’s not really being talked about in it.

  • The confidence and self love that you desire.

  • The connection with others that you crave.

  • The certainty you’ve been trying to get through control.

  • The success you’ve been hustling for.

  • The goals you have been tying your worthiness up in.

...None of it comes from the external.

The confidence, connection, certainty, success, or worthiness aren’t going to be found in outside factors. The feelings and worthiness you want don’t come from:

✖ Your body.
✖ Your weight.
✖ Your career or business.
✖ Your relationships (romantic, familial or otherwise).
✖ Being, looking, or sounding “perfect”.

None of these things will make you feel what you want to feel.

We’re not taught in schools, or by society, or by the dieting + weight loss industry, and definitely not in the media or advertising (‘cause how would they sell you stuff then, right?).

When you’re disconnected from yourself, and out of alignment with who you authentically are on a soul level, you will never feel the way you want to feel or have the confidence you desire to have.

Hustling for your worth, and doing ‘all the things’, isn’t going to shift this. 

In order to feel the love, the worthiness, the confidence, the connection, the success - all of it - you’ve got to start within you.

  • Blaming your body or a number on a scale for the way you feel isn’t going to change how you feel. 🔢 

  • Losing weight isn’t the key to healing the relationship with your body. 🧘🏻‍♀️

  • Another diet won’t make you obsess with food less. 🍩

  • Achieving another goal and finishing another to do list won’t make you worthy. 🎯

Why?

Because all that you desire is already within you. 

Nothing external must be reached, met, or achieved in order to change how you feel.

Simply being connected with yourself - being in your body, feeling your feelings, honouring your desires, and observing your beliefs + thoughts without judgement is the key.

Everything you’ve been trying to manipulate in order to meet you needs to feel the way you’ve been desiring to, comes from within you first.

 

When your disconnected from yourself, and out of alignment with who you authentically are on a soul level, you will never feel the way you want to feel or have the confidence you desire to have.

 

It’s already there. Feeling the way you want to feel is a matter of clearing what has stood in the way this whole time. 🔥

I know, I know. “But Chelsey, how? How do I do that?”

The how is not in the doing.
The how is in the being.

 
 

Huh? Let me repeat that.

The ‘how’ to feeling the way you want to feel, is not in doing more things.

The ‘how’ to feeling the way you want to feel, is in being more of who you are.

  • Being who you are.

  • Being in your body.

  • Being the observer of your thoughts.

  • Being okay with your emotions, and feeling them fully.

  • Being your authentic self.

The ‘how’ is in going internal to heal ourselves first. By healing our internal world (our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, traumas, etc.), our external world will begin to shift.

Everyone is externalizing an issue that comes from an internal need.

“I don’t feel good/worthy/happy/connected/loved enough ”, so I’m going to eat my feelings, binge watch Netflix, go on a diet, manipulate my body, gossip about others, buy new clothes, scroll through social media, and on the list goes.

When you try to fix an internal issue by putting crap over top of it that you don’t need so it can look pretty for other people, the ones you are hurting in the process is yourselves, and in turn the ones you love.

  • When you are disconnected from yourself, you cannot connect with another.

  • When you do not love yourself, you cannot fully love another.

  • When you restrict yourself from food, you restrict yourself in love, money, and other areas of life.

The how is in the being. Reconnect with your body, mind, and soul. 

Here are specific ways to get back into connection with yourself in order to build your confidence:

 

Body:

Use movement as a means to get back into your body. Express yourself through physically moving your body in whatever way feels good. Breathe deeply. Hydrate. Feel the feelings in their entirety - they are there to teach you, and give you information you need.

Mind:

Observe your thoughts, beliefs, fears, desires without judgment. Acknowledge the truth of where you are. Accept the reality of what is - from acceptance comes love. 

Soul:

Nourish your soul by engaging in the pieces of that that make you feel full and your heart light.  Play. Laugh. Sing. Do the thing that you’ve been wanting to for the last 5 years but have been too scared to try. Let yourself be a beginner. Follow your curiosity. 

 

By reconnecting with yourself, you build confidence on a foundation of who you truly are. This is a key to your body and food freedom in your life.

If you’re looking for extra guidance and support to reclaim your life, I would love to work with you. Book your free body confidence coaching call with me by clicking this button below.

Did this post resonate? Share a comment below to let me know!

xoxo chelsey signature.png
 

PS. Want even more ways to build your confidence?

Grab your free copy of the 8 Step to Confidence guide here.