How to Realize Your Own Self Worth and Value

Chelsey Luren Portraits - How to Realize Your Own Self Worth and Value.jpg

“It’s not your job to like me - it’s mine." — Byron Katie

I came across this quote from Byron Katie and it felt so fitting for the entire message I always try to put forward not only as an entrepreneur, but as a woman in this world. 

The honesty of this statement is overwhelming. It can be so easy to put the burden of our self value in the hands of other people. Seeking external validation is a losing game, and if we're not cautious or aware of it, we let other people determine our lives through it. 

  • What we do.
  • Who we're surrounded by.
  • What we are willing to settle for. 

But why should we allow others to determine where our self confidence and value falls? Why would you choose to give away your power?

This quote served me up with a healthy reminder that the level I value myself and the reasons I value myself are determined by me, and me alone. Which, let me say, is not necessarily a fun reminder to have come into my consciousness. 

But rather than sitting there, Having that reminder, I am given two options: 

  1. Beat myself up for realizing all the ways I have given away my power, and tied up my self worth to other people in the past and present moment.
  2. Acknowledge that I did the best I could in that exact moment and decide to move forward with love for myself.

I choose the latter and here's how:

  1. Realize what you want.

  2. Set boundaries.

  3. Make self care a priority.

Determining that's what needs to happen brings the next big question:

"But HOW can I do that?"

Let me share with you the three ways to realize self worth and value that I apply in my own life: 


Realizing what you want can take some serious effort. That may mean that we need to sit down quietly, do some serious meditation, and ask ourselves some thought provoking questions. Or that might just mean we need to get honest with ourselves.

Pay attention to what comes up for you when you ask yourself "What do I want?". Having that clarity helps us to feel more grounded in those wants and helps to give us a sense of confidence.


Setting boundaries is something that I personally grapple with. Being a people pleaser means that I have been the type of person who wants to make everyone happy regardless of what that means for my own wellbeing.

With that trait comes along the difficulty of not knowing how to say "Nope!" to people - even when I know that what is being requested is not within my boundaries. Having clear boundaries is healthy. Confronting the anxiety that comes with saying no does get easier with more time. So suck it up and start small. Eventually you'll be able to keep those healthy boundaries with much less resistance.


Self care is key to everything. I can't emphasize how important it is to make yourself a priority - THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH! If you think it's selfish to take time everyday for you, tell me: How can you give anything; let alone your best, to others if you are too depleted to function?

The bottom line is, you can't. Without self care, you're no good to anybody. So spend the time doing what it is that makes your heart full.

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These are aspects that I make an effort to do each and everyday. The journey of self love is not an easy path to tread, but I can't emphasize how much my own life has drastically improved since having taken the first step.

What are you own guidelines for setting your own self value?

I would love to hear your own thoughts on the matter and what your own pointers are! Please leave a comment below or send me an email by clicking here!

XOXO, Chelsey