Why Self Care Isn't About Feeling Good All The Time - by Chelsey Luren
Self care doesn’t always mean bubble baths or walks on the beach. Self care is doing the things you don’t necessarily want to do, because they’re actually good for you.
How do I know that this is the truth?
For 9 months of 2014-2015 I carried a big secret.
No, I didn’t have some secret baby I kept hidden away (What is this, 1920?). Instead, I spent 9 months of my adult life without front teeth 🤓
Uh say what? ….Also, how the crap does this relate to self care?
Well let me explain.
A swingset, a pole, and my face walk into a bar. Wait, no that’s not quite right, let me try that again.
When I was 11, I had an accident on the playground at school that led to me have a concussion, and losing my two front teeth. (If you’re a kid in BC, and not allowed to lay across two swings while your entire class pushes you - you have me to thank for that.)
Thankfully, with some ice and quick thinking, the dentist was able to put them back in. Unfortunately, the dentist was terrible at his job.
To make a long story short, multiple dental surgeries, root canals and crowns were done incorrectly, and I developed a massive infection in my jaw bone. If I left it untreated, I would have eventually had a facial deformity, and more than likely a heart attack (that’s not an exaggeration, dental health is proven to be directly linked to heart health).
What does this have to do with anything?
Conventional wisdom tells us that the self care to do at that point would be to soothe myself through bubble baths, solo dates, and journalling it out. While I’m a huge advocate for all of those things, none of that would have been true self care at that point in my life.
True self care meant I had to do the scary thing:
The scary thing being have my front teeth removed, get a bone graft, dental implants, crowns, and be without front teeth for 9 months for the small price of more than $10k.
Instead of doing the one thing that would actually be caring for myself - I buried my head in the sand, and worked on ‘self care’.
Choosing to hide from the thing that I needed to do to heal my body - because it scared me - I undermined all of the acts of self care I had been doing. By avoiding the thing I most needed to do, I was continually sending a subconscious message to myself that I didn’t matter. That my needs weren’t important. That my health wasn’t a priority. That I wasn’t worthy. That I didn’t deserve to invest in myself.
When we make the decision that we are deserving, that is when we are willing to do what is necessary, even if what’s necessary doesn’t feel great in the moment.
Eventually I got to the point where I cared enough about myself to do what I didn’t want to. I booked the appointment, invested in myself, and had the surgeries.
Word to the wise: If you’re ever in the same situation, and this story isn’t motive enough, don’t avoid it, or you too will also get to have the experience of dental surgery without any freezing.
So now that you have the frame work of what true self care is, it’s time to reflect on your own life.
If you’re ready to transform the relationship you have with yourself…
ask and honestly answer these questions:
What areas in my life have I been avoiding true self care?
What are the things I have been leaning away from that reinforce a story that I am not worthy, a priority, or important?
Why have I been choosing to fuel the false belief that I am not good enough?
While looking at these answers can feel wildly uncomfortable, its in the discomfort that you will find your freedom.
This is your calling:
To finally be free, and believe in your worth, so you have the confidence to live the life of your dreams.
I’m accepting 1:1 coaching clients, and would love to hear about your truth. Head here to book your free 30 minute chat with me.
If you’re finally ready to bust through these beliefs in your own life, and are seeking support in your journey, let’s connect.