How to realize your own self worth and value

I wanted to quickly share this quote that I came across the other day and was so moved by it. 

It’s not your job to like me - it’s mine.
— Byron Katie

The honesty of this statement is overwhelming. It can be so easy to put the burden of our self value in the hands of other people. If we're not cautious or aware of it, we let other people determine our lives: What we do. What we earn. What we are willing to settle for.

Byron Katie Quote - Vancouver boudoir photoshoot by Chelsey Luren Portraits Chelsey Luren Dixon

But why should we allow others to determine where our self confidence and value falls? This quote is a healthy reminder to me that our level needs to be determined by yourself and you alone. 

Vancouver boudoir photographer Chelsey Luren Portraits on realizing your own value and self worth.

Vancouver boudoir photographer Chelsey Luren Portraits on realizing your own value and self worth.

Here are a couple pointers on how we can set our own self worth and not let others decide this for us:

  1. Realize what you want.

  2. Set boundaries.

  3. Make self care a priority.

And so now you ask, "But HOW can I do that?"

  1. Realizing what you want can take some serious effort. That may mean that we need to sit down quietly, do some serious meditation and ask ourselves some thought provoking questions. Or that might just mean we need to get honest with ourselves. Either way, pay attention to what comes up for you when you ask yourself "What do I want?". Having that clarity helps us to feel more grounded in those wants and helps to give us a sense of confidence.
  2. Setting boundaries is something that I personally grapple with. I have always been the type of person who wants to make everyone happy. With that trait comes along the difficulty of not knowing how to say "Nope!" to people - even when something coming my way is clearly within my boundaries. Having clear boundaries is healthy. Confronting the anxiety that comes with saying no does get easier with more time. So suck it up and start small. Eventually you'll be able to keep those healthy boundaries without issue.
  3. Self care is key to everything. I can't emphasize how important it is to make yourself a priority - THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH! If you think it's selfish to take time everyday for you, tell me: How can you give anything; let alone your best, to others if you are too depleted to function? You can't. Without self care, you're no good to anybody. So spend the time doing whatever it is that makes your heart full.

These are aspects that I make an effort to do each and everyday. The journey of self love is not an easy path to tread, but I can't emphasize how much my own life has drastically improved since having taken the first step.

What are your own guides for setting your self value?

I would love to hear your own thoughts on the matter and what your own pointers are! Please leave a comment below or send us an email with the attached contact form here!

XOXO, Chelsey

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